Fun At Kryid Epicaly Sourced Engine or FAKES Engine
We make cool technologies and we want to show you that we make cool technologies. No other engine can even remotely match the yet unknown useless features of our future gen engine.
FAKES Engine is the most incomplete (since we expect you to complete it) game development framework targeted at yet to be announced future generation consoles (we somehow got the technology but cannot tell you) and DirectX Whatever or OpenGL Whenever equipped PC’s providing the mega array of core technologies, content destruction tools, and negligible support (yup you support us by licensing fees) infrastructure required by top and rich game developers.
Every aspect of the FAKES Engine has been designed with difficulty of content creation and programming in mind, with the goal of snatching as much power as possible from the hands of artists and designers to develop assets in a character based environment with maximum programmer assistance; and to give programmers a highly unified, static and inextensible framework for building, testing, and shipping games in all the genres ever devised or going to be researched (we were kind of hoping that you can use our engine in some new unprofitable genre and show us its extensibility).
Offline editing, relief mapping, global illumination lights, bottlenecked network system, disintegrated physics system, flat shaders, bright shadows and a silent music system are just some of the state of-the-art features the FAKES Engine offers.
The FAKES Engine comes complete with all of its incomplete internal tools and also includes the FAKES Engine Sandwich world viewing system.
Licensees receive most of the useless source code and manual for the engine and tools. Support is provided directly from the Outsourced IBC (illiterate but cheap) R & D Team that continuously watch (and praise) the engine and can arrange teaching workshops for your team to confuse the learning process.
The engine supports all video and hardware which will come in future on the market. New hardware support is thus not needed as it becomes available.
Our future Gen renderer has following exceptional Features:
Giga Threading: We have offloaded everything on the GPU so that you need your HexaDeca Core CPU only for starting and exiting the game. Our giga threading system can bog down even the latest Quad CoreDuo SLi set ups. So this is one really future gen technology where all your latest hardware just slogs.
Seamlessly disconnected indoor and outdoor technology: We use brute force rendering method for rendering all the geometry since we do not want to sacrifice visual accuracy even on backface and occluded volumes. We treat all the geometry as one Mega Mesh on which many Nano Textures are mapped providing unique details even at nano level. All the previous technologies simply look very ancient gen in front of it. And we hope to sell our engine solely on the over marketing hype generated by our lead technical designer on this really cool technology. Volumetric clouds (they are always white) and still ocean technology (all oceans are blue and inside them it is so dark that you cannot see) are also included to further bog down the hardware.
Image based rendering: Everything in the scene can be rendered as an image except your weapon so that you need not tell the difference between 3d objects and 2d image.
Epic Dynamic Range Rendering: All the colors that lie outside the human visible range spectrum are rendered by our inaccurate vector color space renderer while supporting a wide range of pre processing effects such as light blinding, filled halos, and blur-of-field.
Static Lighting and Shadowing: Since it was already available on the internet for free we support this technology which generates some really cool environments. We see no point in boasting on dynamic lighting and self shadowing when we cannot implement it, so it is left for you. At least we are honest.
Shader: Since these make the surfaces too much shiny we have dropped this useless feature from the engine but if needed you can implement it yourselves (again vampirize the free GPL code on internet like us without giving credit to creators) and figure out yourselves how to plug it in our unified code base.
Particles: If you implement this feature do not forget to tell us. Otherwise use the permanently cached pool of particles provided by us.
Effects: Effects like fog are used to render the massive environments supported by our engine where you really see nothing beyond the fog (how else are we going to render the Mega Mesh). All other effects are left for you to implement as these are game specific extensions and as such not provided by us.
Normal Maps: Real 3D models are always better than fake mapping solutions. Again use free code on internet if you need this feature.
Offline Rendering: This feature allows for generating high quality videos and screenshots for showing to the public for creating the hype and passing time while you develop the game. The engine also support direct import of cg movies and high res screenshots generated in Maya for giving that extra edge to your promotional videos. Remember you need something to sell your game.
Muscular and Skeletal animation system supporting up to million bone influences per vertex and very very complex skeletons. Guaranteed to crash even the most powerful current hardware. A really future gen technology.
Our most boasted feature is our inaccurate lip syncing technology and very very advanced facial animation system which can map human expressions even on alien faces.
While playing the game run your favorite audio player and listen to any song you like. This will provide you multi channel surround sound you want. For in game audio (which is really not needed in our opinion since it distracts from gameplay) just buy some middleware or implement yourself.
Physics is better left to text books since we always failed in it anyways.
Game Scripting and Cinematics
Every time you change something you need to compile your game due to the compiled (interpretation is slow anyway) nature of our scripting language.
Use Maya for cinematics as it is great tool for making high quality videos.
User Interface System
It is really geeky and character based.
Content Creation Tool
Only you can write the best editor for your game so we have left this feature incomplete.
Since everybody speaks english or can understand it you need not worry about this issue. You can supply printed translated material and english learning books if needed in the game box.
You need to shoot in the face and kill everyone in sight in the latest games. Thus there is really no need of AI in future gen games.
Hated Partners Program
The FAKES Engine is written from ground up completely using middleware technologies for each and every subsystems and it is left for you to figure out how to connect them since we want to make the latest engine without writing code ourselves. So we go out and buy every competing product or middleware available at cheap cost from poor, small developers so that we can make money from there hard work without giving them share. They have also agreed to provide low level support for their products (for this we give them small fraction of the licensing fees you give us).
You need the latest network card from our allied hardware partner to use our network technology.
Allows for a loading screen every few seconds. We have even managed to get loading screens within the same room using our arcane portal technology.
We do not do any programming ourselves and since future gen hardware is not available, you also do not need performance monitoring tools.
Our technology is already proved by our R&D team on a total of 6000 sheets of papers. Contact us for the massive book written on this subject by our R&D team.
Licensing and support
Our licensing scheme is unique. We charge unreasonable price for our future gen technology. You get support for all the future gaming platforms for this abnormal price.
No doubt you have definitely heard about our infamous support. We provide the engine as it is and everything you need is treated by us as game specific code (even our own extensions) and as such is needed to be developed by you. You can get every extra feature from us for extra payment to us though. If you are unsatisfied or hate us for our support we suggest you to battle with us in court, where our paid lawyers (we pay them from your licensing fees) will fry you. Try not to challenge us until you have m$ or a family business in which case we probably have not messed with you. Try not to bother us because we are really busy figuring out how to use your license money to, somehow make best selling games for our company and thus get an upper hand in games business by unfair competition. Though that will not be tough because we have anyway licensed the useless part of our engine while we keep all the extensions. Yup everything that is of any use is a game specific extension not provided to you. For that you have to pay us more money and even then we will somehow find some broken code to be provided to you. Please understand. We really need the money so that we can make more useless engines for future gens. We really like making cool technologies.
And we really hope that you somehow donot discover the great open source 3d engines on internet which are really useful. Remember what bespectacled billionaire say “All open source is evil and induces viruses in your already insecure sytem. We cannot provide good security so we blame innocent open source developers. Somehow we need to force the customers to use our new products by using only proprietary technologies.”
That said best of luck for your doomed game if you decide to make your game with our FAKES Engine. Ifever you release your game (if against all odds you manage to do that) then do not forget to pay our fifty percent royalty on the game sales.